Comments and Reflections on The Body Keeps the Score by B. van der Kolk

van der Kolk writes the challenge of recovery is reestablishing ownership of your own body and mind--of your self. ...For most people this involves (1) finding a way to become calm and focused, (2) learning to maintain calm in response to images, thoughts, sounds, or physical sensations that remind you of the past, (3) finding a way to be fully alive in the present and engage with the people around you, (4) not having to keep secrets from yourself, including secrets about the ways that you have managed to survive" (p. 205-6). It was ten o'clock in the morning at O'Hare airport in Chicago. I was stumbling through the airport after landing a few hours earlier after a sixteen-hour direct flight back to the States from Ethiopia with minimal sleep. All I wanted at that point in my trip was a large latte from Starbucks, a yogurt, and a quiet gate where I could slip my mask off my face for a few moments since I was heading into hour number twenty for mask-wearing. I had a seven-h...

I can remember at the beginning of the semester either Dr. Boer or perhaps Dr. van der Kolk noted the way the mind and body respond to trauma is a normal response. Parts of our brain go into overdrive protecting the body and mind from harm, while other parts of the brain shut down and even decrease in size. This is normal. When we face trauma, our brains also forget.  As difficult or frustrating as it may be to not have full memory of exact events or scenarios, how beautiful this ability actually is. How tragic it would be to continuously relive the sexual abuse from a perpetrator over and over again. How much more harm would it cause to the body, mind, and spirit to continuously be haunted by the images, sounds, and smells of an abuser if the memory did not shut down. How redeeming it is for God to cause this to happen in the brain when trauma and tragedy hit. Yet, when people do remember--like the story of Julian--navigating how people remember or what triggers their vivid memori...

van der Kolk's explanation for the hidden epidemic in developmental trauma was spot on. His description of a child who experienced something unexpectedly devastating was helpful, especially the section on diagnosing. He writes, "In the case of the troubled children with histories of abuse and neglect who show up in clinics, schools, hospitals, and police stations, the traumatic roots of their behavior are less obvious, particularly because they rarely talk about having been hit, abandoned, or molested, even when asked" (p. 159). Furthermore, even if they are asked, there is a great chance they will not have the memory of the event, especially if it happened in their early development, or may not have the words to properly describe what had happened.  For research on a paper I wrote last semester, I read an article focused on an 11-year-old girl named Rachel who had been referred to an outpatient trauma clinic. She appeared to have clinically significant symptoms of PTSD ...

There is a tendency for new parents to want to do everything right--how to feed, diaper, attach, and secure. I've heard so many not-yet-parents comment how they will  never  do that when they are parents. Then they become parents.  A few weeks I was pulled into a conversation between our pastor and a young "soon-to-be-parents" couple who had asked our pastor what it took to be good parents. I know the pastor's journey in parenting is not too dissimilar to our journey so he paused, smiled, and looked at me, asking what I thought it took to be good parents. I recalled my HBSE class last semester and the phrase coined by Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalysis, "good enough mothering." It is the idea that children actually benefit from imperfect parenting, and in all actuality, no parent is perfect. The phrase seems to alleviate any anxiety for expectant parents who are nervous about getting something wrong with the newly born being. The phrase see...

In chapter 5, van der Kolk begins the chapter with this quote by Michael Hart, "Life is about rhythm. We vibrate, our hearts are pumping blood. We are a rhythm machine, that's what we are" (p. 74). As much as I find the neurobiological effects of trauma and stress fascinating, I find the ways our bodies are interconnected even more interesting, and it makes a lot of sense. Each system of the body works together to keep us alive, and when one system is in hyperarousal or survival mode, the rest of the body suffers. It may not suffer immediately, but eventually, the score will add up.  I find this true for myself when I prepare for a big trip, like traveling to Ethiopia. My to-do list is usually longer than normal as I am trying to get everything ready to travel while also trying to do all of the normal household tasks in preparation to leave my family at home. I have traveled to Ethiopia ten times. 8 out of 10 times I have left on the trip with a cold or a bad sinus infect...

As I read the van der Kolk chapters this week, the statement in Evans and Coccoma (2014) was helpful to keep in mind as we dug into neurobiological responses to trauma. The authors state how the behaviors our clients exhibit are actually normal  from a trauma-informed perspective (Evans and Coccoma, 2014, p. 19). What the brain and mind do when the individual either experiences or witnesses a traumatic event is actually normal and is the right way to respond. This is what the brain was made to do. God created us to survive.  This week I watched the effects of trauma unfold before me in the life of my son. At this time, I will not share the story of how my children have experienced trauma in their life (that will have to wait for another time, perhaps), but, rather, I will say both of them live life through the lens of trauma. This is the story that has unfolded for us this week. I will only share one part of the story.  On Monday afternoon, my oldest son got on the school...

I have found myself saying this phrase a lot lately, "I don't know what I don't know," especially as I dig deeper into this MSW program and learn the complexities of the brain and mind, and the complexities of trauma within individuals, families, and the greater society. Sometimes it is nice not knowing what I don't know. There can be a sense of privilege in the innocence of not knowing. Yet as I learn and become more are of those around me, I cannot help but change to, "Now that I know what I know, what can I do about it?"  Considering the stories van der Kolk shares within the first chapter of  The Body Keeps the Score , it seems likely, when reflecting into his first year as a staff psychiatrist at Boston's VA Clinic, he and others may have been saying, "I don't know what I don't know." Many did not know what the combat veterans had seen and experienced walking throughout the jungles of Vietnam. Many combat veterans came home fro...