The Complexity of Healing the Mind: Chapters 17 & 18

van der Kolk writes, "Just as we need to revisit traumatic memories in order to integrate them, we need to revisit the parts of ourselves that developed the defensive habits that helped us to survive" (p. 281). With those defensive habits, coping takes its toll, not just on the mind but on the body. Yet, as we have learned in this class, as well as throughout this book, what the brain does to protect, flee, and fight is "normal" and, in fact, part of God's design. Imagine if none of those preservation habits were present when we faced trauma. Imagine what our brains and bodies would do then. I fear all would be lost. 

I agree with van der Kolk in the importance of not only healing the mind from trauma, but also working with the body to heal from our defensive habits. It goes back to the "I do not know what I do not know." We cannot shame others (or ourselves for that matter) when defensive habits become destructive habits. In the midst of our trauma responses, we are likely doing the best we can to survive.

A friend is going through an extremely difficult time with her son right now. Her son was recently arrested and was placed in the juvenile detention center. The life she imagined for her son has been shattered. She expressed to me, "My mind and heart feel like they are all over the place." This comes with no surprise. She is doing the best she can at the moment she is in. And, with awareness, time, and perhaps a little help, she will find stability and healing again. It will become more concerning, however, if her current defensive coping mechanisms become defensive habits. 

Or, as van der Kolk describes the problems come later like when a soldier returns from war and tries to put the experience back into his civilian life without any tools or skills for recovering from the trauma. There is a loss of control, endless triggers, blowing up, and endless angst. 

I found van der Kolk's mosiac of the mind fascinating and helpful--how the split parts of the brain hold different memories, beliefs, and physical sensations. How some parts hold shame or pleasure or excitement. He writes, "The first step in this collaboration is to assure the internal system that all parts are welcome and that all of them--even those that are suicidal or destructive--were formed in an attempt to protect the self-system, no matter how much they now seem to threaten it." 

Moving through and past the defensive habits takes time and a lot of work, and, as van der Kolk describes so well, the healing can be deeply complex and multi-layered. 

The author's work with PBSP psychomotor therapy and restructuring of the inner maps was so profound. I can only imagine the potential healing that can take place not only for the person in the middle of the therapy but for all involved in playing the various parts. There is something of great value to witness the healing of another person. For the people playing the various parts, they get to step into someone else's healing process, which must, I imagine, lead to healing for them, too. It normalizes the trauma and it normalizes the power of healing. 

I have had the privilege of watching people find healing from their suffering, either physical or emotional suffering. It can feel like walking on holy sacred ground when healing takes place. The honor and privilege given to be a witness to all of it is humbling.